Sustainability
by MissCountrySweet
Summary: Bella and Edward have never liked each other. When their best friends Alice and Jasper unexpectedly die in a car crash, they become joint guardians of an orphaned one year old girl. Will they have the strength to set their differences aside in able to raise this child together? AU/AH, B/E.
1. Preface

**A/N: ****Well, hello there! Thanks for checking this out. First, you should know that this is a story based on the movie, "Life As We Know It", which came out in 2010. It's a great movie, and if you're into romantic comedies I would definitely recommend it. Secondly, this is my first Edward/Bella multi-chapter story, so here's to hoping it'll be a good one. Edward and Bella are in their mid-twenties and living on their own. The rest will be determined in later chapters.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of its characters, all credit goes to Stephanie Meyer.**

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><p><strong><strong>Preface

My first thought after hearing the news was one of utter despair.

_No, not them. Why did it have to be them?_

They had only been twenty-four years old. I didn't understand it. They had been _happy_. Maybe not completely, but they had their family, their friends, not to mention their ultimate dream jobs. And more than that, they had _Ezzy, _their vibrant, beautiful one-year-old daughter.

How could the world be so cruel as to take away two wonderful parents from their newborn child?

It was immoral. Absolutely outrageous. And the injustice didn't simply stop there.

Ezzy had not only just lost _both _of her parents, but my best friend was gone. The one person who I could always turn to in times of struggle was no longer with me, and I couldn't figure out why. Why did it have to happen like this?

I now had no one to keep me from falling, no one to stand by my side and support me through it all. For the first time in my life, I was entirely alone…and hopelessly afraid.

There was nothing I could do to stop myself. I fell to the floor and wept.

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><p><strong>Just to let you know in case you were wondering, Ezzy is short for Esmeralda. Thought it was a cute name for Alice and Jasper's baby! Please leave me a review to let me know what you think. Thanks. :)<strong>


	2. Chapter 1: Bella POV

**A/N: Thank you to those who reviewed and put my story on their favorites/alerts, I really appreciate it! Hope you enjoy this first chapter.**

_Sustainability - t__he power to withstand._

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><p><em>(~Sustainability~)<em>

**Chapter One**

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><p>"I need to see her. Just let me see her, <em>please."<em>

Tears filled my eyes as I stared despondently at the officer, waiting hopefully for his permission to see Esmeralda. I couldn't bear the thought of her being in the hands of some stranger. She belonged in her own house, in her own crib, surrounded by the people who loved her. Not in some awkward, foreign environment.

"I'm sorry, but the baby has already been taken to a foster home for the night," the officer explained, his tone lightly sympathetic. "You can see her first thing in the morning."

I bit down hard on my bottom lip to keep from screaming out in frustration. Forcing myself to remain calm, I nodded and then watched as the officer retreated down the hall. Leaning my back against the wall, I closed my eyes and counted down to ten. It was a habit I had picked up ever since I was little, and for some unknown reason it always had the power to keep me steady.

_10…9…8…7…6…5…4…3…2…1._

"Bella?"

I immediately opened my eyes and saw Edward's face. Blinking in surprise, I stared at him for a moment, allowing his presence to sink in. He was wearing a navy blue t-shirt underneath his black leather jacket, and a pair of dark blue jeans. His thick bronze hair appeared to be messy, as always, but what stood out the most was the unmistakably hard, grief-stricken look that emanated from his deep, piercing green eyes.

"You look terrible," I remarked, not really knowing what else to say.

He raised a perfectly arched eyebrow. "Right back at you," he murmured.

If it had been any other time, I would have laughed. But since two of my closest friends had just died in a car accident, I didn't have it in me. The tears that had been filling up began to spill, falling in a silver cascade down my face.

"I'm assuming you know about A-Alice and Jasper?" I stammered, quickly wiping away the tears with my hands. I didn't want to fall apart here, not in front of _him. _He didn't need to see me like this.

"I do," Edward said, and I swear I heard a small crack in his voice. I could tell that he was suffering – exactly as I was. And for just that one moment, I felt comforted by the fact that I wasn't alone in this feeling.

"Ezzy-", he began, but I quickly cut him off, already knowing what he was going to ask.

"They won't let us see her until tomorrow morning."

His eyes immediately flickered with disappointment, followed by a slight trace of indignation. "We know her better than anyone," he asserted, crossing his arms. He glared at the wall, and the muscle on the left side of his face twitched with anger.

"I know," I murmured, "but apparently its policy."

"Screw the policy," Edward very nearly growled.

I raised my eyes to stare at him, never having heard him sound so mad before. But then again, I didn't know him as well as Jasper had - and for good reason. He was an arrogant ass, not to mention a total player; it had only taken me five short minutes to learn that fact when Alice and Jasper had set us up on a blind date a couple years back. Edward had ended up being one hour late in picking me up, which of course wasn't humorous in the least. Not only that, but the date had only lasted five minutes, from the time I had sat in his car to when I had stormed out of it, thoroughly insulted. The man actually had the audacity to flirt on the phone with some other woman while I sat in the passenger seat and tell her _while I was clearly listening _that he'd make sure to drop by her place that same night.

I never remembered being so furious in all my life, _especially_ on a date.

I couldn't believe it when Alice had told me that he was Jasper's friend. What decent man could ever be close friends with such a dickhead? I had always thought about asking Jasper about his and Edward's relationship, but the question had always slipped my mind, and normally whenever I was around Jasper, so was Edward.

"We should probably go," I said, snapping out of my thoughts. I stepped away from the wall, suddenly feeling very awkward standing in front of him. This was the first time we had been alone since our disastrous date and it made me want to squirm. Or better yet, run like hell.

He nodded silently, a faraway look in his eyes. I realized that he was in shock, and in that moment I was unsure of what to do. I didn't want to stay in the hospital one second longer, but at the same time I didn't want to leave him here alone, despite my colossal dislike towards him.

Indeed, it was a very awkward predicament.

A full minute passed and I couldn't stand it any longer.

"Well, I guess I'll see you around." I took a hesitant step forward, and then another. When he still didn't move I sighed softly and continued to walk down the hall towards the exit.

I figured he would be fine. We hardly even know each other, and he wouldn't have wanted me to stay with him. In fact, after a while he probably would have asked me what I was doing, and then I'd end up feeling stupid. Feeling stupid was _not _on my agenda tonight. I already felt like shit.

As I made my way towards my car I noticed a motorcycle parked next to it and narrowed my eyes, recognizing it right away as Edward's. I had to admit that it was nice, but knowing that many a girl had ridden on it made me grimace. Shaking my head, I unlocked my car and opened the door before slipping inside. I let out a sigh, relieved to be out of that place. Hospitals were definitely at the top of my hate list, right along with Edward.

I knew that I shouldn't be so quick to judge, but there was just something about Edward that really rattled my cage. It wasn't simply the fact that he was straight out rude and an undeniable player, but something else. I just couldn't quite piece it together…

…and I had a feeling that I might never would.

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><p>I woke up the next morning with a box of tissues on my right and an empty wine bottle on my left. Bright rays of sunlight streaked through the glass in my window, hitting me directly in the face. I shot up, hissing in pain.<p>

"Fuck, my head is going to explode."

At the sound of my pained outcry, my gorgeous black and tan German shepherd dog, Buddy, bolted into my bedroom and emitted a sharp, defensive growl.

"Buddy, don't you _dare _bark," I warned him, making my miserable way to the bathroom in search for some much needed Excedrin. In realizing that his owner wasn't under attack, Buddy lowered his hackles and wagged his tail, looking rather adorable.

I grabbed the Excedrin from my bathroom cabinet and desperately unscrewed the cap. After popping two in my mouth I leaned over the sink, turned on the faucet, and gulped down a mouthful of water.

The moment I swallowed the pills I remembered that I had absolutely no food in my stomach. If I didn't eat anything soon, I would undoubtedly throw up. Letting out a small groan, I dashed out of my bedroom and towards the kitchen with Buddy following close behind.

Once I was in the kitchen I yanked open the refrigerator door and stared inside at its contents. There wasn't one thing that looked even remotely appetizing. I closed the door, sighed in frustration, and looked around. Spotting a banana on the counter beside the coffee maker, I decided on that and went to grab it. The second I picked it up and started peeling it, I heard a faint whine from the entrance to the kitchen.

Buddy was sitting down on the ground staring at me with his soft, chocolate brown eyes, his head slightly tilted to the side. I smiled, understanding exactly what that look meant after having seen it so many times before.

"All right, lover boy, you may have some of my banana," I said, and then in a more adamant tone, "_Hier!"_

Immediately he sprang to his paws and bounded towards me.

"_Sitz!" _I ordered, and watched as he promptly sat down.

"Good boy," I murmured lovingly and patted him gently on his head. Affectionately he licked my hand, his tail wagging back and forth on the kitchen floor.

After swallowing a bite of banana, I broke off a piece and gave it to him. This process was repeated a few times until the banana had officially been consumed. Patting my stomach in satisfaction, I glanced over at the coffee maker and was just about to get ready to make some java when a knock came at the door.

Buddy instantly sprang into action, leaping forward and dashing to the door. I winced in agony when he started to bark, wondering why the hell I had to have such a competent guard dog.

I then glanced down at what I was wearing and shortly moaned. All I had on was a skimpy white spaghetti strap shirt and a pair of multi-colored plaid shorts. On top of that, my hair looked like a rat had been nesting in it all night. Now was definitely _not _the time for unexpected company.

Running to the door, I pushed Buddy aside and ordered him to sit and be quiet. Once that was done, I opened the door a crack and peered out to see who was there.

I blinked in surprise. "Edward?"

"Hey, Bella. Did you get the call?"

"No. What call?"

"Alice and Jasper's lawyer called…he wants us to meet at their house to discuss something."

"Oh. When?"

"At eight-thirty."

"What time is it now?"

"Eight fifteen."

I cursed. "Okay, I can be ready in five minutes." I slammed the door, reconsidered and opened it again. "Sorry, come inside. But beware of the dog."

Edward raised an eyebrow, before cautiously stepping inside the apartment. A low growl came from Buddy's throat the moment their eyes made contact. Lowering his head, the fierce looking German shepherd pulled his lips back in a snarl.

Edward's eyes grew huge. "Bella, what is _that_?"

I grinned wide and proud. "He's my baby. Isn't he handsome? His name is Buddy."

"You named your wolf Buddy?"

Buddy growled once again.

I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms. "He is _not _a wolf. He is a German shepherd – a German shepherd that can kick your ass. Do you seriously want to insult him right now?"

Edward glanced back down at Buddy and immediately shifted closer to the door.

"Okay, be right back. Buddy, you keep a good watch on him."

I started up the steps but then halted right in my tracks when Edward suddenly exclaimed, "Wait! He's not going to attack me, is he?"

I sighed, turned around and said, "Not if you don't give him a good reason to…oh, and not unless I give him the order."

"That's not very comforting," came his frank response.

I smirked. "Good," I remarked, before dashing up the stairs.

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><p><strong>All right, some notes: <strong>

**"Sitz" and "Hier" are German commands that are used to train German shepherds, (a sport called Schutzhund, which means "protection dog") used normally for police dogs. Buddy is a retired police dog_, _****so it's appropriate that Bella learned to say these commands.**

**Review to let me know what you think! I'll try to write the next chapter as soon as I can, but I can't guarantee a specific schedule right now.**

**And l****astly, thanks for reading! :)**


	3. Chapter 2: Bella POV

**A/N: Wow, I'm thrilled by how many people have put this story on their favorites and alerts! Thank you! As I may not have mentioned, this story is set in Atlanta, Georgia. It's a wonderful city, if you've never been – I actually had the opportunity to visit there for a couple days last summer. If you decide to go there one day, make sure you buy a coke in one of their restaurants. I'm telling you, it's the best coke I've ever tasted!**

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><p><em>(~Sustainability~)<em>

**Chapter Two**

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><p>"Edward, you're too close to that car."<p>

"The idiot is going ten miles under the speed limit."

"So? You're going to hit him."

"It would be his own fault for driving ten miles under the damn limit."

"No, Edward, it would be _your _fault."

"It doesn't matter. I'm not going to hit him."

"Do you always drive so recklessly?"

"Are you always so damn irritating?"

I turned my head to glare at him. I had only been in the car with him for ten minutes and already Edward had managed to get on my very last nerve. I was beginning to realize that my tolerance for him was extremely limited.

As a matter of fact it was practically nonexistent.

I sighed and said, "I just don't want us to get a ticket, okay? We're already late enough as it is."

"We're not going to get a ticket, Bella. Relax."

"How can I relax when you're driving?"

It was Edward's turn to sigh. "Look, he turned. Okay? Problem solved."

I wanted to mention the fact that the problem wasn't the car, it was his driving, but decided to keep my mouth shut…for now. Crossing my arms, I glanced out the window and watched as the world passed swiftly by. Thankfully we were only a minute away from the house, so I wouldn't have to endure his presence alone much longer.

Heaven help me if we ever had to go on a road trip together.

As the car careened around a corner, a sudden movement near the side of the road caught my eye. It only took me a mere second to realize what it was before I screamed.

"_Squirrel!"_

Edward let out a curse and yanked the wheel a little to the left to avoid the endangered animal. Unfortunately, he swerved a little too late. I whimpered softly when I felt the tire run over the poor little creature, and a small piece of my heart broke at that moment.

A long, agonizing silence ensued.

I closed my eyes and told myself that it was okay. It had only been a squirrel, after all. A cute, furry, vulnerable and defenseless squirrel. And now…now it was dead.

I glanced over at Edward and whispered accusingly, "You _killed _it_."_

Edward glanced over at me, looking clearly affronted. "Are you kidding me? Bella, it ran right onto the road! What was I supposed to do, magically lift the car into the air? As much as I would like my car to have that kind of power, it doesn't. It wasn't my fault."

"Oh, so it's the _squirrel's _fault then? Are you suggesting it committed suicide?'

"I'm not even going to dignify that with a response," Edward remarked flatly.

"Fine," I said curtly, just as the car rolled into Alice and Jasper's driveway. As I always did whenever I saw the house, I stared in admiration. The house was visibly huge. It was quite literally a small mansion. Alice had fallen in love with it the moment she found it, and there really was no wondering why.

It was a Colonial style house that had been built in 1945. It had five bedrooms, six baths, and a beautiful stone fireplace inside the living room. Everything inside - the furniture, various adornments and other household décor was just amazing and only added to its charm. Alice had done a fabulous job embellishing the house from top to bottom, inside and out. She had thrived on fashion, as well as beauty, and it showed in almost every aspect of her and Jasper's home.

Edward stopped next to the lawyer's car and as soon as it was parked I unbuckled my seat belt and stepped out, breathing a faint sigh of relief. Before Edward had even stepped out of the car I was halfway to the front door, obviously not caring to wait for him.

I knocked on the door and waited, not turning to look at Edward as he came up to stand beside me. It didn't take very long for the lawyer to open the door, and once he did I flashed the middle-aged man a small, apologetic smile and said, "Sorry we're late."

The lawyer was of average height with short brown hair and square-rimmed glasses. He wore a dark brown suit along with a flattering red tie, and had on a polite, ready smile. I noticed that he was actually rather quite handsome, and I suddenly wished I could have had time to put on some make-up before hastily leaving the apartment.

"Come in, come in. My name is Tom Barnes. You may call me Tom."

"Nice to meet you, Tom," I replied, stepping into the house. Edward followed my lead and gave a short nod to Tom in acknowledgement.

"Let's sit at the kitchen table, shall we?"

Once we were all settled in our chairs with Edward and I seated next to each other and Tom sitting across from us, my anxiety significantly rose. I crossed my right leg over the other and folded my hands on top of my lap, preparing myself for what he was about to announce.

"First, I want to express my sincerest condolences to you two. I understand that Alice and Jasper were very close friends of yours, and after having worked for them for quite some time, I've come to realize what a pair of commendable people they were. They will certainly be missed."

"Thank you," I murmured, blinking away the tears that were threatening to form.

Edward nodded once and answered, "Yes, thanks."

"Now, I have a question," Tom began. He gazed at them for a short moment before inquiring, "Did Alice and Jasper ever discuss with you about who would take care of Esmeralda in the rare circumstance of her becoming an orphan?"

I glanced over at Edward, a confused expression appearing on both of our faces.

"No," we both told him, staring curiously at the lawyer.

"Well," Tom said, glancing briefly down at the sheet of paper in front of him before fixing us with quite a serious stare.

"It appears…that they both wanted you," he affirmed at last.

Immediately, Edward and I leaned forward in our seats.

"Wait, _what?_" I exclaimed, assuming that I had misheard.

"They picked me with _her_?" Edward questioned simultaneously, sounding appalled.

"Yes. I promptly advised them not to considering some of the difficulties that could arise, but they were adamant in their decision. They agreed that you two together would be the best possible choice as Ezzy's guardians," Tom explained.

Feeling like I was about to be sick, I placed my hand over my stomach and closed my eyes, willing my head to stop spinning. My heart pounded like a cruel hammer against my rib cage, and for a few moments I could hardly breathe.

Edward and I? _Joint guardians? _What the _hell _had Alice and Jasper been thinking? Had they been high or extremely intoxicated at the time? I didn't know, but one thing was for sure - they obviously hadn't been thinking very logically. Perhaps they hadn't even been thinking at all.

This was definitely _not _what I had expected. And I could tell by the shocked look on Edward's face that he hadn't predicted it, either. I glanced over at the wine cabinet in the corner of the kitchen, thinking a nice warm glass of Cabernet Sauvignon would be absolutely delightful right about now.

"Excuse me, I think I need a moment," I said faintly, standing up from my chair.

Tom nodded and replied, "Take your time."

Turning around, I made my way through the house and walked out the back door. I inhaled a deep, shaky breath and stared blankly at my surroundings, feeling like my world was crashing down around me. Was this really happening? Was this actually _real?_

And how could Alice do this to me? She _knew _how much I loathed Edward. She knew I couldn't stand him, and yet she and Jasper _still _thought that they could simply mesh our lives together on account of their baby. It was utterly absurd!

I didn't think that I would be able to go back in, but after about five minutes of pacing back and forth on the porch, I sucked up the courage and re-entered the house.

Once I had sat back down beside Edward, who looked rather mystified, I gazed expectantly across at Tom and waited for him to give me more details.

Tom readily informed me, "Right, as I was saying to Edward, it would be appropriate in this case if you two moved in here to take care of Ezzy. Now, the mortgage of the house has already been paid, so no worries there. If in a few months it doesn't seem like it will work out, one or the other could take Ezzy. As a last resort, she would be put up for adoption."

My stomach clenched at the thought of Ezzy becoming a part of some other family. I narrowed my eyes, knowing deep down that I couldn't let that happen. _Never _would I ever allow that to happen.

If Alice and Jasper wanted Edward and I to be joint guardians, then so be it. It would be done.

And if, by chance, it _didn't _work out, I would take Ezzy.

I glanced over at Edward and our eyes met instantly. We held each other's gazes for a short moment, each realizing what the other wanted, before turning our attention back to Tom.

"Okay," Edward said.

I nodded. "We'll do it."

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><p>I cried the second Edward put Ezzy into my arms.<p>

"Oh, thank God," I murmured, wrapping my arms around her in a firm, yet gentle embrace. I kissed her softly on the forehead, soaking up her wonderful presence.

"It's okay," I told her tenderly, completely overwhelmed with emotion, "Edward and I are here now."

And in that moment I fervently promised that I wouldn't be going anywhere.

I didn't think that I could count on Edward to stay, but on the other hand I hardly knew him, who was I to know what he would do? He had agreed to be Ezzy's guardian, to at least give it a shot, and for that I was grateful. Frightened like hell to be honest, but certainly grateful.

"Come on, Ezzy," I said affectionately, walking towards the car, "Let's get you out of here. It's time to go back home."

I flicked a glance over at Edward who was walking beside me, and wondered what he was thinking. Was he scared, too? I wanted to ask, but I could tell just by the distant look on his face that he wasn't in the mood for talking. And funnily enough, neither was I.

So I kept quiet, and remained silent the entire way home.

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><p><strong>Next chapter you will get a chance to get inside Edward's head. Exciting, yes? <strong>

**Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Leave me a review to let me know what you think. :)**

**~LWS**


	4. Chapter 3: Edward POV

**A/N: Hello all! I want to apologize profusely for taking this long to update. I honestly didn't think I'd have you guys waiting until March but school has really been kicking my ass lately. Also, I really wanted to get a beta before I updated again, so that was another reason. But now that I'm on my Spring Break I will definitely plan to have the next chapter up by next week! Thank you to all the people who have favorited, alerted, and reviewed my story, you guys rock! **

**Lastly thanks to Grey Paige for being my beta!**

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><p><em>(~Sustainability~)<em>

**Chapter Three**

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><p>40,000.<p>

Every year an average of around 40,000 people die in car accidents, including my best friend.

I hadn't wanted to believe that it could happen, but it did.

I hadn't wanted to believe that I could lose the best friend I had known for eleven years, but I had.

Everything felt strangely different. I felt like there was a significant part of me missing, like a huge piece of my heart had been ripped out, leaving a massive hole. The pain was all-consuming, almost unbearable. And you know what was worse? I couldn't even taste my damn sandwich.

Frowning, I dropped it back on my plate and let out a heavy sigh. A soft whine had me glancing down at the floor, where Buddy sat staring up at me, begging to get a scrap.

"What do you want?" I grumbled, knowing very well what he wanted.

Buddy whined again, louder this time, and then swiped his tongue over his muzzle.

"All right, all right." Picking up the half-eaten sandwich, I gave it to the dog and watched as he scarfed it down in two bites.

"Satisfied now?"

Wagging his tail vigorously, Buddy stood up on all four paws and stepped forward to affectionately lick my hand.

I raised my eyebrow. "Oh, so now you decide you like me? After I've given you food?"

Buddy lifted his head and barked.

Bella walked into the kitchen and shot me a look. "Edward, I _just _got Ezzy to sleep. Could you please refrain from playing with him right now?"

"I wasn't playing with him, I only gave him a snack and he got excited about it. Maybe now that there's a baby in the house you should train your wolf to be quiet." I flashed Bella an artful smirk.

Bella glared at me, her deep chocolate brown eyes narrowing in annoyance. "For the last time, Buddy is _not _a wolf. He only acts like one occasionally. And next time don't be such a pushover. I'm trying to teach him not to beg."

_This woman did not just call me a pushover._ I didn't know whether to gawk or to laugh. She obviously had no idea who the hell she was presently talking to. _Pushover? _Hah.

I raised an eyebrow and said, "If I'm a pushover, then you're a hippopotamus."

She blinked, staring at me as if I was insane. "What?"

I grinned and nodded, "Exactly."

She shook her head at me and crossed her arms across her chest. "Look, Edward, we really need to start sorting some things out."

I held back a snort. "And by things you mean…issues?"

Bella sighed in slight exasperation, "No, right now we just need to figure out a schedule of when we can each take care of Ezzy. We both work away from home so it's going to be a bit difficult."

"What is it that you do again?" I questioned, honestly having forgotten. _It was something with animals…_"Groomer, right?" I guessed, shooting in the dark.

"Uh, no," Bella replied, scrunching her nose. "I'm a professional dog trainer."

"Ah," I said. _Interesting._ "So when are you going to start training Buddy?" I joked.

Bella didn't reply. Instead she turned to Buddy, made eye contact with him, and commanded sharply while pointing to me, "_Fass!" _

Before I even realized what was happening, her dog had sprung onto all four paws and dashed straight towards me, a sudden growl ripping from his throat. My eyes widened as he leapt into the air, letting out a muffled curse right as Buddy crashed into me. I felt my back hit the kitchen floor hard. Pain shot through me the moment Buddy wrapped his sharp jaws around the length of my arm, and I cursed once again.

"Good boy!_" _Bella praised, walking over to my side.

I stared warily at my attacker, lying completely still. I swear the dog's tail fucking wagged with his teeth still piercing my arm. And hell, he was as heavy as a horse. _What the heck is she feeding him?_

"Now, what was that about Buddy and not being trained?" Bella asked, gazing down at me with a smug smile.

"I was joking!" I exclaimed indignantly. Buddy growled while on top of me and my body immediately tensed.

"Never joke about my pet," Bella said firmly, crossing her arms, "or my job, for that matter. Dog training isn't an easy career, and I've worked hard to get where I am. Not everyone can say the same."

"All right, all right, I get it. Now…would you kindly get your wolf off me before he punctures my arm?"

"Buddy! _Aus!"_

Immediately, Buddy let go of my arm and padded over to Bella. Sitting up, I rolled up the sleeve of my shirt and grimaced when I touched my hand to the spot where Buddy had grabbed me. Yup, that was going to leave a bruise…_damn dog_.

I glanced over at Bella and watched, unamused, as she doted on Buddy, scratching him lovingly behind the ears.

"You're a good boy, oh yes you are! You showed Edward, didn't you? That's right, you don't let anyone insult your intelligence, do you my big boy?"

I snorted quietly and stood up, officially annoyed. And hungry.

"So what days do you have to work?" I asked, walking over and leaning against the kitchen counter with my arms crossed. I eyed the dog warily.

"My busiest days are on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. Those are when I have the most appointments. I don't work on the weekends," Bella stated, giving Buddy a final pat before standing up to face me. "What about you?"

"I work twenty-four hours straight and then I'm off forty-eight hours," I told her, wondering if she remembered what I was.

"Really? Firemen work one day and a night and then get two days off?"

Apparently, she did.

"Well, you know, firefighting isn't an easy career. We work hard," I said, smirking.

Bella rolled her eyes, obviously getting the joke. "Haha. Very funny."

Sticking my hands in the front pockets of my jeans, I remarked, "so since I'm going to be away a few times during the week, you're going to have to bring Ezzy with you to some of your appointments. Will that be a problem for you?"

"No, that's fine," Bella said. "I can make it work. Besides, it's not like you'd be able to bring her to the department…"

I chuckled at the thought. _A baby at the station? The chief would definitely flip a shit._

"Hardly," I replied.

"What days do you usually get off?"

"It depends, but normally Wednesdays and Thursdays."

"Okay, then-"

"Look," I said, cutting her off. "Before we start figuring out a schedule, I think we should at least wait until the funeral reception."

Bella stared at me in confusion. "What? Why?"

"There's bound to be some relatives of Alice and Jasper's we could talk to who might be willing to take Ezzy instead of us," I said, hoping she'd agree on this.

I watched Bella's eyes grow wide before flashing hard with undeniable anger. "Are you suggesting we just give her up? What happened to the agreement you made yesterday?" She placed her hands on her hips and glared at me. "How could you lie about that, Edward?"

"Hold up," I said quickly, lifting my hands, "I didn't lie. I'll gladly take joint custody of Ezzy, but first we should really think this over."

"What is there to think over?" Bella cried, "Alice and Jasper chose _us. _Why would you want to go against their wishes?"

I sighed and ran a hand through my hair, feeling the stress rise all over again. "I wouldn't, Bella, but we have to think logically here. Are we really the best choice for Ezzy?"

"Yes, I believe we are," Bella said, not missing a beat. "So tell me, why don't you?"

I didn't want to admit to her that I wasn't ready to be a father, and that the idea of taking care of a one year old scared the hell out of me, more than anything else, as a matter of fact.

"I just think that maybe we should give Ezzy to a couple who's older and has more experience with children. Hell, we're only twenty-five years old, Bella. Do you really want to spend your Friday nights changing diapers?"

"Do you even know how selfish you sound right now?" Bella snapped. Her eyes pierced straight through mine as she added, "this is Ezzy we're talking about. _Ezzy, _not some random baby we found on the street. Yes, I'm aware that I'm going to have to sacrifice some things, a lot of things. But that's something we should be willing to do. And it's what Alice and Jasper would have expected of us."

Shaking my head with a heavy sigh, I turned away from her and walked over to the opposite side of the room. I stared out the window into the backyard, wondering how my life had gone from fairly great to absolutely miserable in just a matter of days. The situation I was stuck in was ultimately mind-blowing and I could barely think straight due to it. I placed my hand against the glass window and hung my head, feeling in that moment as if the world was spinning madly out of control. I wanted so desperately to leave and forget about all of this. It would be nice to just simply forget about all of my responsibilities, at least for a little while, until I was able to put my head back on my shoulders.

But more than anything I wished Alice and Jasper were still alive and that everything was back to how it was supposed to be. _Jasper _was Ezzy's true father, not me.

He had been a better father than I could ever hope to be. And the truth was…I didn't _deserve _her_._

"Edward?" Bella whispered softly. It almost sounded as if she was pleading.

Maybe she was.

I turned around and walked back over to her, stopping to gaze straight into her eyes. "Are you _sure_ you want to do this?" I calmly asked her. And by the determined look in her eyes, I had already found the answer.

"Yes," Bella murmured without a second hesitation. "But I need _you _to be sure, too."

Honestly, I wasn't sure of anything. But I sure as hell wasn't about to confess to it.

"I'll do what I agreed to," I said, and before Bella had the chance to respond I added quickly, "which was to _try. _If it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out. All right?"

"Fair enough," Bella replied. She turned around and went to grab a pen and notepad from the kitchen counter. "So how about we start by going to the store later and picking up some food? I checked the refrigerator and the cabinets and there's barely anything left. We should stock up for the week."

"Yeah," I said, nodding absently, "we should."

There it went. I could feel it waving a sorrowful good-bye as I told Bella to add milk to the grocery list.

My old life was gone...

And hell if I thought I was ever going to get it back.

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><p><strong>Aus<strong>** - "Drop it! Let go!"**

**Fass - "Attack! Take hold!"  
><strong>

**Just in case you were wondering what those commands meant. And there you have it, the third chapter! I promise to make the next chapters longer, right now I simply wanted you guys to see what was going on inside Edward's head. What did you think? Do you like the idea of Edward being a firefighter? I don't know about you, but I like the idea _a lot. _There's just something sexy about it. Mhmm. Fireward, anyone? ;) **

**Next chapter will be in Bella's POV again. Reviews make me smile. :)**


	5. Chapter 4: Bella POV

**A/N: Hey guys! I finally have an update for you...yay! Excited? I certainly hope so! This is quite a funny and light-hearted chapter, so I hope you enjoy reading it. Also, just to warn you, this chapter is _unbeta'd, _so all mistakes are mine. I will replace this chapter with the edited version once my beta has finished fixing it up. I thought that you guys have waited long enough so I'm going ahead and posting it...now I think I deserve some cookies from y'all. Haha. ;)**_  
><em>

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><p><em>(~Sustainability~)<em>

**Chapter Four**

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><p>I woke up for about the third time that night to the sound of Ezzy's high-pitched crying.<p>

Sighing, I sat up in bed and waited, hoping to eventually hear the sound of Edward walking down the hall towards the nursery. Surely he could hear her, couldn't he? She was as loud as a friggin' howler monkey.

After a full five minutes had passed, I let out a loud groan and reluctantly swung myself out of bed.

_Fuck you, Edward._

I'll be damned if I had to get up every single time Ezzy started crying. Like hell was I going to allow him to get a full night's sleep when I couldn't even get in a decent five hours. Who did he think he was making me do all the work? Did he not have any care at all?

Clenching my hands into fists, I stormed out of my room and walked right past the nursery, straight to Edward's bedroom. Oh yes, I was a girl on a mission.

My mission?

To knock some sense into Edward's dense, mammoth head.

I narrowed my eyes the second I discovered the reason as to why Edward was sleeping so soundly.

The door was closed. _Closed! _Did he have absolutely no sense at all? I was utterly flabbergasted.

Furthermore I'd never felt so pissed at him than in this precise moment, and that was certainly saying something considering the way he had treated me on our blind date. I suddenly felt the dire need to punch something. Anything. Preferably, Edward.

I jerked the door open in one swift motion and tore into the room, fully charged and ready to kick ass.

I headed directly towards his bed and was about three feet away from it when my feet stumbled unexpectedly over a pair of shoes. It only took around two split seconds for a loud, piercing scream to escape my mouth, followed by a very distinct curse as I landed flat across the length of Edward's unconscious body.

I struggled to sit up as I continued my impressive line of curses at the same exact time Edward groaned and shot straight up in bed. We immediately butted heads. Pain shot through me, my head spinning as it hit me hard.

"_Ow!_" I exclaimed.

"Fuck!" Edward grumbled, obviously now fully awake.

I leaned back and tenderly touched the spot where our heads had collided, knowing for a fact that it was going to bruise. Wonderful, just wonderful.

"Bella, what is the matter with you? And why the hell are you in my room?" Edward demanded.

I flashed him a piercing glare even though it was dark and he could hardly see my face. "No, Edward, what is the matter with _you_? You left your door closed!"

"And your point is?" Edward questioned.

Holding back a growl I leaned over, snatched up the pillow that was beside him, and whacked him hard across the face.

"That's for being stupid," I hissed at him. "In case you've somehow forgotten there is a _baby _in the house. How can you hear her cry when your door is closed?"

Edward rubbed his head with the palm of his hand and muttered, "I'm sorry, it's just habit. I'll try not to do it again."

"You better not or next time I'm going to hit you with something much harder than a pillow," I snapped.

"You already did," he pointed out.

"What?"

"Your head."

I smiled and forced myself not to laugh. I needed to remain serious. "Very funny, now could you please get your ass out of bed and check on Ezzy? I've already done it twice tonight."

"I don't know if I can, my head is pounding so hard I can barely see what's in front of me."

"Edward, the lights are off. And don't even think about making excuses, I will kick you out of this room myself if I have to," I warned him.

Edward smirked smugly in the darkness. "I highly doubt you could do that, Bella. I'm a fireman, remember?"

"And I'm a professional dog trainer. If I can handle a one hundred and fifty pound Great Dane, I could probably handle you as well," I said smoothly, crossing my arms.

"Wanna bet?"

"Edward, if you don't check on Ezzy _right now _I'm going to-"

"All right, all right, I'm going! Don't get your bloomers all in a knot."

"Excuse me?" I blinked at him a couple times in surprise.

"Your panties," Edward said.

I shook my head, grinning slowly. "No, you said bloomers."

Edward shrugged. "So?"

"Since when did we go back in time to the mid-19th century?" I joked.

"Now you're the one being funny," Edward said with a quiet snort.

"I'm not the one who said 'bloomers'," I replied, letting out a giggle.

Well, so much for remaining serious. There was no way I could when he popped out a word like _that. _

Shaking his head, Edward got out of bed and headed towards the door.

Right before he left the room he turned back around and asked casually, "Were you trying to seduce me or something?"

I nearly fell off the bed in shock. _What_ did he just say?

"S-sorry?" I sputtered, staring at him in bewilderment.

"You were on my bed when I woke up…or rather, on me. Care to explain?"

My face turned beat red and I mentally thanked my lucky stars that the light wasn't on for him to see it. Oh, how dreadfully embarrassing that would have been!

"I tripped! Over your shoes!" I exclaimed defensively, my eyes flashing brightly in the darkness. "And then I fell! I was _not _trying to seduce you!"

"Are you sure about that?"

"Am I…of _course_ I'm sure about it! I'd never seduce you, you idiot!"

"I think what you mean to say is - you'd never _try _to seduce me_,_" Edward said slyly.

I grabbed the same pillow I had before and chucked it at him with all my might.

He laughed and quickly ducked out of the room, snickering all the way to the nursery.

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><p>I was just seconds away from drifting off into a peaceful slumber when I heard the door to my bedroom crack open. Ezzy's distressing cry caused my eyelids to flutter open, immediately jolting me awake.<p>

I sat up in bed and stared at Edward with sleepy, narrowed eyes as he walked towards me with Ezzy in his arms. He sat down on my side of the bed and heaved a loud, frustrated sigh.

"I got her to be quiet for about ten minutes but then she started crying again. I don't get it. Why the hell won't she sleep?"

"Did you try feeding her?" I asked tiredly.

"Yeah, I tried giving her some of that baby food we got today, the same kind Alice and Jasper always fed her, but she wouldn't have any of it."

"Okay, what about her diaper?"

"Her diaper?" His voice sounded startled.

I raised an eyebrow. "Yes, her diaper. You know that absorbent material babies wear around their bottom to go to the bathroom in?"

"I know what a diaper is," Edward said flatly, "I just…"

"Don't what to change it?" I guessed, smirking knowingly.

"Well…yeah," he sheepishly admitted.

"Too bad," I said, "you're doing it."

Suddenly, Edward leaned his head down next to Ezzy's and asked her, "What's that?" He listened to her cry for a moment before nodding and lifting his head to look at me. "She said that she'd rather have you change her diaper. Since I'm a guy, it'd make her feel awkward."

I smiled and shook my head. "Nope, nice try funny man."

He sighed, admitting defeat. "Fine, but you're coming with me to show me what to do."

I gasped, "Wait, you mean you, Edward Cullen, have never changed a diaper before?" Flinging my arm dramatically over my head, I let out a soft fainting noise and fell back against the bed.

I heard Edward chuckle and say, "Haha. And _you_ have?"

Sitting up, I crossed my arms and stated, "As a matter of fact, yes, I have. I babysat every now and then during my sophomore year of college. There were two babies around Ezzy's age that I had to learn to change diapers for."

"Wow," Edward said sarcastically, "the experience you have with diapers is just blowing my mind."

"Oh yeah? You know what blows _my_ mind?"

"Cucumbers?"

I ignored this and said in a firm, irritated tone, "The fact that women actually tend to like you. You must have found some clever way to trick them, huh?"

"Ouch, what a way to wound a guy's ego," Edward joked.

I snorted non-comically. "Oh, trust me; I think your ego is big enough to handle it."

As Ezzy let out a long, ear-piercing wail, I bit down on my lip and pulled the covers back. "All right, we should really check out her diaper. Come on."

Edward stood up and I quickly got out of bed, following him out of the room and into the nursery. He laid Ezzy on the changing table in the corner of the room and then glanced over at me expectantly.

"All right," I said, "now first you need to unfasten the tabs."

"Got it." Leaning over, Edward unclasped the tabs and then slowly pulled the diaper down to check what was inside. He scrunched his nose a bit and said, "Yep, she's soiled it."

"Okay, well before you put on a new diaper you need to clean her."

"Sounds like fun."

I grabbed a baby wipe from the shelf underneath the table and handed it to him. "Wipe from front to back," I instructed.

"Why?" Edward asked curiously.

"I was taught that it helps keep bacteria from causing infection."

Edward nodded and said, "Right." Using the wipe I gave him, he began cleaning Ezzy from front to back. The expression on his face was an interesting combination of colossal discomfort, sure determination and clear, undeniable torture.

After a moment of watching I couldn't help it – I leaned my head back and laughed uproariously.

He paused and flashed me a look of surprise. "What?" he exclaimed, clearly dumbfounded.

"Oh gosh, the look on your face when you started wiping her was fucking priceless!" I bent over and continued to laugh, tears beginning to form at the corner of my eyes.

Edward scowled. "Shut up, Bella, and let me concentrate."

"I'm t-trying!" After one full minute I finally regained my composure. Pushing a strand of hair behind my ear, I nodded to him and said, "Okay, I think I'm good now…you may continue."

"Thanks," Edward said dryly, rolling his eyes. Turning back to Ezzy, he finished wiping her off before throwing the wipe away in the trash can beside the table. "Okay, now what?"

"Now you need to dry her off and then put the new diaper on."

Edward nodded with his lips pressed in a firm line and bent down to grab a clean cloth from the shelf. Once he had dried her off, he put the cloth off to the side and picked up a new diaper.

He stared down at the diaper and blinked, glanced at Ezzy, then back at the diaper, looking utterly perplexed.

I sniggered quietly from beside him. _This is just too entertaining to watch!_

"Okay, so now just lift her up and put the diaper beneath her, and then lay her bottom on top of it," I said.

Edward did so, and then without having to ask me what he needed to do next, pulled both tabs over one by one and sealed them onto the diaper.

"Hah!" he exclaimed, lifting Ezzy up into the air in a triumphant gesture. "I've done it!"

I shook my head slightly and laughed. "Congratulations Edward, you have officially changed your first diaper. Now you can look forward to changing hundreds more!"

Edward snorted, "Hardly. She's one year old; we should start potty training her soon."

"Agreed, but until she learns we'll need to keep changing her diaper. And now, hopefully, you'll know how."

"It's pretty simple," Edward said, "I think I've got it."

Ezzy reached out and playfully grabbed Edward's nose.

"Hey!" Edward said, grinning, "What do you think you're doing, missy?"

Giggling, Ezzy squeezed his nose with her tiny little fingers. Edward made a funny face, causing her to let out a loud shriek of laughter.

"Well, you've obviously made her very happy," I said, smiling softly at Ezzy.

"It's because I've got the charm," Edward said matter-of-factly, giving me a teasing grin.

"Whatever you say, Edward, whatever you say." I put my hand over my mouth and let out a giant yawn. "Okay, I _really _need to get some sleep. Put her to bed, will you?"

"Sure, Your Highness." Edward swooped low in a gallant bow. Ezzy clapped her hands together and squealed with pleasure.

"Edward, honestly, you need to get her to sleep," I said sternly.

She was _so _cute right now but I was _so _tired. Tomorrow was Monday and if I didn't get any shut eye soon I was _not _going to be a happy camper in the morning, no matter how many cups of coffee I drink. If Edward didn't understand this now, well hell he most certainly would understand it soon.

"Don't worry Bella, I've got this covered," Edward said.

"Are you sure?"

"Positive."

"Okay, well…wake me up if you still can't get Ezzy to sleep."

_Please, please sleep Ezzy._

Edward nodded. "Deal. See you in the morning."

I walked out of the nursery and headed back to my bedroom, but not before overhearing Edward exclaim playfully to Ezzy,

"Look, Ezzy! Bella left! This is our chance…let's party!"

I stopped, thought about turning back around, but then shook my head and continued on.

One single thought passed through my mind as I finally drifted off to sleep.

_Stupid irritating, cocky fireman…_

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><p><strong>Review and not only will I love you eternally, but I'll send you a sneak peek of the next chapter! <strong>

**You guys are awesome, thank you so much for reading. :)**


	6. Chapter 5: Bella POV

**A/N: Well hi there! Bet'cha didn't expect an update of this story again, did you? (actually, I kind of hope you did!) First of all, I want to give y'all my deepest apologies for making you wait so long (about a half a year, right? Sheesh!) I have a reason, trust me. Most of it had to do with school (I'm a college senior now, so help me) and my social life. And those exact things unfortunately led to a horrible case of writer's block, which I've just recently gotten over now, thank goodness. Anyways, I told you I wouldn't abandon this story, right? Right. So at last, here is chapter five! Enjoy. (: **

**Also, be aware that this chapter is unbeta'ed. Once I get back in touch with my beta, I'll replace it with the edited version. **

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><p><em>(~Sustainability~)<em>

**Chapter Five**

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><p>"Ezzy…Ezzy don't...<em>don't<em>-"

I let out a slight squeal of dismay as the vile, icky brown substance splattered against my cheek. Forming my chapped lips into a firm, hard line, I closed my eyes and began to count.

_10…9…8…7…6…_

A short, sudden bark caused me to jump and let go of my hold on Ezzy. The moment I gave a glance over at Buddy, who was sitting in the middle of the bathroom doorway, he cocked his head and let out an impatient, high pitched whine. He wanted his dinner and he wanted it _now_.

"Almost, Buddy." I assured him a little more sternly than usual due to the fact that I was quickly falling short on patience. How many more times would I have to put the baby's butt on the stupid potty chair until the baby finally grasped the concept of it? I mean really, was is _that _hard to understand?

_Calm your tits, Bella; she's only twelve months old. It's going to take awhile._

Inhaling deeply, I regained my composure before grabbing some toilet paper and beginning to wipe up the mess Ezzy had made on the floor. Ezzy cooed happily beside me, staring at Buddy with wide, curious eyes.

Right after I finished cleaning, Ezzy let out an excited squeal and gave her arms an upward thrust. I knew who it was standing behind Buddy even before I turned around and flashed him an exhausted smile.

"You're home. Finally."

Edward gazed at me for a brief moment before offering a charming smirk. "You have poo on your face," he boldly declared.

Oddly enough it wasn't his embarrassing statement that did it, but how he smirked at me in that rude, obnoxious, utterly ridiculous way of his, that drew the final straw to my patience. With fiercely narrowed eyes I stepped forward, pressed the palm of my hand against my dirty cheek, and with a delightful smirk of my own smacked my contaminated hand right across his clean, pretty face.

"And now," I said smugly, "you have poo on yours."

I picked up Ezzy who was, believe it or not, giggling gleefully and clapping her hands. Edward continued to stand there, his face displaying a mixed expression of astonishment, exasperation, and disgust.

Grinning from ear to ear, I strode past him and started down the hall, carrying Ezzy on my hip. And for the first time that day, maybe ever in the history of potty training, I thanked the baby for missing.

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><p>Thirty minutes later I was downstairs feeding Ezzy her dinner with Buddy sleeping stretched out across the kitchen floor, having just finished his. It was eight o'clock and I was starving, but there was no way I was fixing myself dinner until Ezzy was fed and tucked in for the night.<p>

After giving Ezzy her last bite of food, I heard Edward trudge into the kitchen and open the refrigerator door. As he noisily began to rummage around, I flicked a glance at him from over my shoulder and asked, "What are you doing?"

He placed a pot on the stove before turning to look at me. "What does it look like I'm doing? Making dinner."

I raised an eyebrow in surprise. "You cook?"

Edward blinked, before smiling in amusement. "Yeah, I cook. What, something you didn't expect?"

"Well, yes…I mean no…" Shaking my head, I switched my gaze back over to Ezzy. "To be honest, when it comes to you I don't really know _what _to expect."

Edward smirked and turned back around, snagging a box of pasta from the cabinet. "You like spaghetti?"

"Oh, don't worry about me, I'm just going to have some cereal or something," I said quickly, lifting Ezzy from her high chair and setting her on my hip.

Edward lifted a brow and said, "Don't be ridiculous, Bella. Cereal doesn't count as dinner. And even if it did, it'd be a lousy one."

"Is that so? Well, I happen to like eating cereal."

"Sure, if you're desperate. Spaghetti is way more satisfying."

"Satisfying, yet full of carbs."

"What's wrong with carbs?"

"I'm kind of on a diet right now."

"You're on a diet…" His tone was skeptical.

"Yes," I replied defiantly, "I need to cut down on my carbs."

"Uh huh." Edward leaned back against the counter and crossed his arms. "And what kind of diet are you on, exactly? A cereal diet?" He chuckled.

I narrowed my eyes at him, not finding this to be the least bit comical.

"You _do _realize that cereal is made from grain, which is stock full of carbs," Edward added, giving me that damned smirk again.

"First of all, yes, I am aware of that. Special K is perfectly healthy though and it doesn't contain any saturated fat. Plus, it's low in calories." I was starting to get seriously annoyed with this conversation. Why did he even care, anyway? "Second of all, why do you even care?"

Ezzy reached up and tugged playfully on a strand of my hair, demanding attention.

"Because I'm beginning to think that you don't want me to make you dinner," Edward shot.

"What? That's absolutely ridiculous!" I exclaimed, glancing down at Ezzy as she clung to me. Or was I the one clinging to her? At the moment I wasn't so sure.

"I agree," Edward said, "and just because _you _can't cook doesn't mean-"

"Whoa, hold it right there, bucket boy. What makes you think I can't cook?"

"I heard it from…someone, awhile back." Edward shrugged, then pinned me with an incredulous stare. "Wait, did you just call me 'bucket boy'?"

"Don't change the subject," I said firmly, "who told you I couldn't cook?"

Edward sighed and glanced away, clearly uncomfortable with the question, and I wondered why. After a couple short moments, it dawned on me. I knew exactly who it had been, and why Edward was so hesitant to tell me.

Alice.

I bit down hard on my bottom lip and felt my eyes start to water. Blinking back the tears that were threatening to escape, I wrapped my arms tighter around Ezzy and nodded in understanding.

"I…I, um, I need to put Ezzy to sleep. I'll be right back. Don't worry about making me dinner, okay?"

Avoiding his penetrating gaze, I rushed out of the kitchen and did what I said I was going to do.

All the while thinking, _oh, Alice, I miss you, I miss you so god damned much. It hurts whenever I think about you. Will it ever stop hurting? Will _I _ever stop hurting? I don't know how to handle you being gone. It's too hard. Life without you is too fucking hard._

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><p>Once Ezzy was asleep, I returned to the kitchen with one last goal in mind for the day: eat my lousy dinner and then hit the sack for a good night's rest. Having taken care of Ezzy the entire day had me dead on my feet; I was in desperate need of some shut-eye.<p>

I passed Edward on my way to the pantry and felt my stomach grumble at the pasta's mouth-watering aroma. Doing my best to ignore it, I opened the pantry door and glanced up at my Special K cereal box.

I must have been staring at it for quite some time, because suddenly Edward came over to stand beside me.

"Bella?" he questioned softly, with a trace of concern in his voice. I could understand why he'd be concerned. I mean, I was really just standing there, frozen in place like the Statue of Liberty.

Except the Statue of Liberty wouldn't be breaking apart, like I was, as each second passed.

And the Statue of Liberty would never be in need of something, or someone, to support her like I do now, as I fell into Edward's strong, waiting arms.

Because what the Statue of Liberty had that I didn't…was strength.

And now, not just in this moment but in this fierce, crazy storm, strength was what I needed the most.

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><p><strong>AN: So...do my readers still exist? Feel free to holler, scream, or fling howler monkey's at my face. Just so I know you're still there. (:**

**Oh, and expect an update every Wednesday. Don't worry, I won't disappear any time soon. You have my word!**

**~LWS **


	7. Chapter 6: Edward POV

**A/N: Surprise! It's an update! I know, I'm three days ahead of schedule, and I'm really sorry about that. Hah, just kidding, I know you guys are somewhat ecstatic. Any-who, I just want to say thank you SO much to all my readers who have stuck with me so far, you guys are amazing and I love you. :)  
><strong>

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><p><em>(~Sustainability~)<em>

**Chapter Six  
><strong>

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><p>It was the fourth day since Alice and Jasper's death, and that meant only one thing.<p>

Today was their funeral.

I glanced over at the alarm clock I had set up beside the couch and read the time.

8:09 a.m., which meant I only had about three hours to pull myself together before the undeniable torture I was most certainly about to endure.

Releasing a low, dreadful groan, I sat up and flung back the ridiculously expensive wool blanket I remember Jasper buying a few months back. It had been a birthday present for Alice. I blinked, recalling how incredulous I had been towards Jasper when he had told me the price.

"_Two hundred and thirty-five dollars? Jazz, don't be ridiculous. No one needs to pay that much for a blanket and you damn well know it." _

"_Edward, this is Alice we're talking about. Of course I need to. It's what she wants." He shrugged and took another swig of his beer. A highlight of the football game we were watching flashed across the TV screen._

"_Do you always give Alice what she wants?" I raised an eyebrow and gave Jasper a facetious grin._

_He shook his head, sighing. "No, not always. But I try my best." Jasper turned to face me, fixing me with a good hard stare before adding, "Look, I know you don't really get it now, but Alice…she's my world. She's the reason for…for everything. If it wasn't for her, I wouldn't be the kind of man I am today. Hell, I'd do anything for her almost, even if that means buying a two hundred and thirty-five dollar blanket." He smiled softly at me. "Who knows, maybe someday when you find your own Alice, you'll understand where I'm coming from."_

I ran my hands through my thick, disheveled hair and desperately willed the pain to go away. Jasper's voice was still clear as day inside my mind, and the abominable ache of knowing that I will never again hear my buddy talk was too much to bear. Clenching my hands into fists, I sprung from the couch and snatched the alarm clock off the end table, yelling angrily as I chucked it against the wall.

"…Edward?"

I whipped around, my hands once again balled into ironclad fists. Bella stood at the entrance of the room, a stunned expression displayed on her pale, tired face.

"Edward," she tried again, her tone a little more firm now as she added, "Pick up the clock."

Pick up the clock. Yeah, that sounded like a good idea. Inhaling a much needed, yet shaky, breath I walked over and picked up the clock. I began to toss it around gently in my hands, silently inspecting the damage.

Bella walked over and placed her hand on my arm, causing me to glance up and into her dark, chocolate brown eyes; eyes which were filled with an all-consuming, gut-wrenching pain. And I knew, as she stared into my own troubled eyes, that she saw the same.

I glanced away after a moment and asked, "I didn't wake up Ezzy, did I?"

"No, she was already awake," Bella replied, "I've been feeding her."

I glanced back and murmured, "Sorry if I startled you."

"It's all right," Bella murmured back, "I understand. If I could, I'd kick the shit out of everything in this house. But I'm afraid Alice would come back to haunt me."

I cracked a small smile and said, "Yeah, probably wouldn't be the best idea."

"Why don't you come downstairs? I've made some coffee."

"Yeah, sure," I gave a slight nod. "I'll be right down."

Once Bella had left, I turned around and glanced down at the beat up clock in my hands. Now the numbers were blinking, but what disturbed me the most was the time that it had stopped on.

_8:13 a.m._

August 13th - four days ago.

The exact date of Alice and Jasper's death.

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><p>"Edward, could you <em>please <em>try to keep her quiet?"

"Believe me, I'm trying." I grumbled, clearly irritated as I fumbled around inside the baby bag, looking for the Ziploc filled with Cheerios. Ezzy sat on my lap, wailing loudly, her despairing cries echoing impressively throughout the sanctuary. I could tell the people sitting around us were starting to become perturbed as they bombarded me with displeased expressions.

"Give the kid a freaking break," I muttered, finally snatching the Cheerios out of the bag, "She's at her parent's funeral, for Christ's sake."

Bella shot me a warning glare, obviously not amused by my remark. I opened the Ziploc and handed Ezzy a bite of cereal. Amazingly, she took it and immediately popped it in her mouth, beginning to chew.

I glanced over at Bella, who shrugged before giving me a thumbs-up.

The funeral went on for about an hour. Later, when it was time, Bella stood up and walked over to the wooden pulpit. I watched as she gazed solemnly at all the people, tears forming in her eyes as she began to speak in a soft yet audible tone.

"Alice and Jasper were the greatest friends that I could have ever asked for. I met Alice my freshman year of college; we were both late to the same class and neither of us knew how to get there." A hint of a smile appeared at the corner of her lips. "We ended up skipping the class entirely to go get some food. We talked for two hours straight, about anything and everything. Afterwards we exchanged phone numbers, and I knew then that I had found a friend for life."

I noticed a tear trickle down her cheek and I frowned, glancing down at Ezzy who was sleeping peacefully in my embrace.

"I have to be honest and say that when I first met Jasper I didn't like him one bit; mainly because he took so much of Alice's time." She let out a brief, dry laugh before adding, "But as I got to know him, I eventually came to realize why Alice was so crazy about him. He was the most compassionate man I have ever met." Bella glanced down at the ground for a moment or two before lifting her head and stating one last thing. "I love Alice and Jasper with all my heart and I can't wait till their daughter, Esmeralda, is old enough to hear the many stories I have of them – of us – that in my mind represents the friendship of a very cherished and remarkable pair."

She returned quietly to her seat and I realized then that it was my turn to speak. This was the very moment I had been dreading, but I knew that I had to do it; if not for the people listening then at least for Jasper and Alice. Sucking in a deep, nervous breath, I gently placed Ezzy in Bella's arms before slowly standing up.

As I made my way to the pulpit, I thought about what I was going to say. Unfortunately, I wasn't very good at thinking of speeches right on the spot. I ran a hand unsteadily through my hair and looked out at the people staring expectantly back at me.

But my mind was blank.

I glanced back down at the pulpit, starting to panic a little bit. _Fuck._

Why the hell had I agreed to do this, anyway? I was no good at speaking in public. I'd rather fight a thousand fires in one day than carry out this…this…this torturous act.

_Calm down, buddy. You can do this. Just make it one minute. That's all. Short, sweet, and to the point._

I lifted my head, finally, and allowed my gaze to fall directly on Bella. The moment our eyes met she gave me a soft, encouraging smile and nodded her head.

I opened my mouth and the words began spilling out.

"Bella was right when she said Jasper was a compassionate man. But he wasn't just compassionate. He was loyal, hard-headed, bold as hell, and the best friend I've ever had. I knew him since high school, and since then we've been through a lot together. I couldn't count the number of times he's had my back…and I can assure you, he's had my back a lot more than I've had his." I stopped for a moment, suddenly feeling a rush of anger wash over me.

And for the first time in my life, I felt truly ashamed.

"I didn't deserve to have Jasper as a friend, but he always stuck with me. More than anything we were…we were brothers."

I could see Bella starting to tear up again, and I kept my eyes on her as I finished.

"Alice was a great friend as well, and one that I will sorely miss. She was one of the very few people I knew who I could count on to always be honest with me. So, I guess what I truly mean to say is…Alice and Jasper was an extraordinary pair. I'll never forget them, and neither will their daughter, Esmeralda. I'll make sure of it."

And with that said, I retreated to my seat.

* * *

><p>The second the funeral ended I turned towards Bella and whispered, "Let's get the hell out of here."<p>

Bella sighed patiently. "Edward, relax. I want to talk to a few people first," she replied, standing up. "Could you hold Ezzy for a moment, please?"

I stood up as well, allowing Bella to place Ezzy in my arms. "Who is it you want to talk to?"

And then all of a sudden a tall, dark skinned man appeared out of nowhere and wrapped Bella in a close, solid embrace. I raised an eyebrow, my curiosity rising.

When they finally separated, I studied the man closely. He looked a bit young, but I wasn't so sure after noticing his bizarre muscular build. Who _was_ this guy?

I cocked an eyebrow at him. _Well then. This is interesting…_

The man smiled fondly at Bella and said, "Bella, that speech was amazing, and you look…wow, even more amazing. You might want to go to the bathroom though, your mascara is running."

I resisted the sudden urge to laugh and instead glanced over at Bella, expecting an introduction.

Bella rolled her eyes and smiled back at him affectionately. She then turned to look at me, but not before wrapping her arm loosely around Muscle Man.

"I don't believe you two have met. Edward…this is Jacob."


	8. Chapter 7: Bella POV

_(~Sustainability~)_

**Chapter Seven**

* * *

><p>"Honestly, Rose, so far I don't know if this whole arrangement is going to work. He said he was going to try, which is great, but for all I know he could decide to stop trying tomorrow, or in the next two weeks. I don't know if I can depend on him, I hardly even know the guy."<p>

I put on my blinker and took a slow left turn onto Jacob's street. Yesterday after the funeral we had planned to eat some lunch together today and discuss the current insanity that was my life. I desperately needed his advice and reassurance. But more than that I simply needed him. He had always been my go-to man whenever life brought me down, cheering me up in a way no one else could.

And hell, I needed some serious cheering up.

On the other line Rose let out a heavy, contemplative sigh. "Bella, just be patient. You never know, he could come around. You might not know him well enough now, but Alice and Jasper did, and if you can't trust Edward on this at least try and trust them."

I had to admit, she had a point. Pursing my lips, I rolled into Jacob's driveway and parked my small dark blue Chevy next to his monstrous red pick-up truck. Cutting the engine, I leaned back against the seat.

"You didn't hear him though, Rose. He basically told me that he didn't want to spend his weekends changing diapers. Does that sound like a man who's happy, let alone ready, to take on a huge responsibility like this?"

"Bella, love, give the guy some slack. He's a twenty-five year old man who values his freedom and all that comes with it. What did you expect? That he'd be raring to go the second a kid was tossed into his lap? Take that and the fact that his best friend just passed away and you've got a pretty unstable guy on your hands."

Buddy, who was moving around restlessly in the back seat, let out a sudden bark. I jumped slightly and flicked a stern glance over my shoulder at him.

"Lass das sein!" I demanded firmly.

Buddy whined softly and lied back down on the seat.

"Excuse me?" Rose replied, sounding startled.

"Sorry, I was just telling Buddy to cool it."

"Oh, right, you use Shitzhund on him. I remember now."

I laughed at her remark and shook my head. "It's called Schutzhund, for your information."

"Shitzhund, Schutzhund, close enough."

I smiled and rolled my eyes. "Yeah, okay. Listen, I just got to Jake's house. I'll call you later."

"Sounds good. Later, Bella babe."

I got out of the car and let Buddy out, not bothering to put his leash on since he hardly ever left my side. Hearing the front door open, I turned around and saw Jacob walking towards us.

"Hey, Bells! You brought Buddy, awesome." He leaned down and stretched his arms out, letting out a long, low whistle.

Barking excitedly, Buddy bounded over and leaped up, straight into Jacob's open arms. He fell to the ground laughing and started to wrestle my dog as if they were two grown wolves of a pack.

I crossed my arms and shook my head, waiting for them to finish romping around. Jacob acted like such a kid sometimes, I mused. But perhaps that was why I enjoyed his company; he was like a breath of cool, fresh air after an unbearably dry, hot summer day.

"Bella! A little help here, maybe?"

Snapping out of my thoughts, I glanced down and then smirked when I noticed Jacob's compromising position. He was lying flat on his back, trapped beneath Buddy's massive weight. As I stepped closer I realized Buddy had a pretty good grip on his arm, and I knew just by Buddy's firm, defensive stance that he wasn't planning on budging one bit.

I clicked my tongue. "You know, this is what you get for playing too rough with him."

"Is he going to let me go or not?"

"Hmm, most likely not. You have to surrender to him."

"What? How the hell am I supposed to do that?"

I shrugged, trying so hard to remain cool and not break out laughing at the hilarity of it all. "I don't know. Lick his nose, maybe?"

"Hah, very funny. C'mon, Bella, get him off me."

"What? You can't do it yourself? You weigh like, what? Four hundred pounds?"

He shot me a playful glare.

I gave him a grin in return and said, "Okay, fine. Buddy! Aus!"

Instantly letting go of his arm, Buddy swiped his sloppy wet tongue across Jake's cheek before jumping off him, tail wagging vigorously.

"Now, can we eat some lunch? Or would you like to have a round two with him?" I teased.

"Nah, I have a feeling he'd probably kick my ass." Jake joked, returning to his enormous height of six foot seven.

I laughed and started walking towards the door. "Next time, don't play so rough with him. He could accidentally hurt you."

"Yes, Mommy."

I gave his arm a mighty shove and he grinned, yanking me towards him and wrapping his long arm around my shoulders.

"I've missed you, Bells," he said warmly.

I sighed, walking into the house. "I've missed you too, Jake. How's it been going? Anything new?"

"Nah, not really. Business is great, as usual. Dad finally decided to hand the shop over to me a couple weeks ago." He shrugged casually as we made our way into the kitchen.

I stopped dead in my tracks and stared at him, eyes growing wide. "Wait, what? You manage the car shop now?"

He opened a cabinet door and got out a can of Pringles, before turning back to nod at me. "Yep."

"Jake, that's fantastic! Congratulations." I grinned proudly at him.

"It's no big deal, really. I've kind of been managing it on my own for a while now. Dad's health isn't so good these days…he's been staying at home a lot, trying to get his strength back." He opened the can and popped a chip into his mouth.

"Oh, Jake, I'm sorry…why didn't you tell me he had gotten worse?" I leaned back against the counter beside him and crossed my arms.

"I was going to, but then…" he trailed off, staring down into the Pringles can. "…Alice and Jasper…" He glanced over at me with a concerned expression. "I'm really sorry, Bells. How are you handling everything?"

"I don't know, Jake. I don't know how I'm handling everything. God, I'm such a mess." I leaned my head against his arm and closed my eyes, doing my best not to lose it in front of him. Even if I did, though, I knew Jacob wouldn't mind. He knew and understood me more than anyone else, now that Alice was gone.

"You're not a mess Bella…" Jake murmured. He laid his head on top of mine.

I pinched him.

"Ow. Okay, maybe you're a little messy…but honestly, Bella, you have a damn good right to be. It's your time to be as messy as you want."

"Jake, as much as I'd love to be as messy as I want, I just can't. I have a kid to look after, remember?"

"Humph. Fair point. Well, how about this, whenever you need a break from your responsibilities and all the crazy madness your life gets pulled into, come by my place and we can be as messy as you want. Deal?"

Hoping to lighten the mood a little bit, I said, "Wait. Are you suggesting we get…dirty? God, Jake…"

"What?" Jake's head shot straight up. "No, I didn't mean-"

I let out a snort of laughter and snatched the Pringles out of his hand, backing away from him. "You are such a dork."

He scowled at me. "Hey, give those back."

"No, I'm hungry." I popped a chip into my mouth. "And if this is all you have for lunch, I'm going to smack you."

"No, 'course not." Jake ambled over to the refrigerator and got out a few ingredients, setting them on the kitchen counter next to me. "I thought we could make one of your favorites…Chicken a la King!"

I raised an eyebrow. "Jake…that's one of your favorites."

"Oh…right." He smiled sheepishly. "Guess I'm just really hungry for Chicken a la King."

Laughing softly, I walked over and wrapped my arms around him in a warm, tight hug. "Thanks, Jake," I murmured.

He blinked in confusion and glanced down at me. "For what?"

"For just…being here, I guess."

He smiled and gently kissed the top of my head. "Don't worry, Bells, I'm not going anywhere…I promise."

* * *

><p>Buddy and I returned to the house about two hours later, and for the first time since Alice and Jasper's death I finally felt like I could get through this, thanks to Jacob. My mood was relatively bright as I stepped into the house, eager to see how Ezzy was doing after being in Edward's care for the past couple of hours. It was about time for her afternoon nap, so hopefully Edward was putting her to sleep.<p>

Unfortunately, all hell broke loose the second I was inside.

"Where the hell have you been?" Edward exclaimed, marching towards me with Ezzy crying hysterically in his arms.

Taken aback by his hard, angry demeanor, I slowly closed the front door. "I had lunch with Jacob…remember?"

"Did you happen to check your phone at all during that time?" Edward snapped, stopping to stand stiffly in front of me.

I slowly pulled my phone out of my purse and checked my most recent calls. Crap. There were definitely quite a few…and all seven of them were from Edward.

"Edward, I'm so sorry, I just-"

"Save the excuses," Edward interrupted hotly, quickly yet carefully plopping the distressed baby into my arms, "I don't have time for them. I am now officially late for work, thanks to you."

He spun around and strode hastily towards the back door that led to the garage. I followed after him, all the while trying to soothe Ezzy who continued to cry excessively in my embrace.

"Edward! How late are you?"

"It doesn't matter, Bella," Edward shot over his shoulder, "The Chief could have me fired. Missing work isn't tolerated at the department, and for good reason. Next time, leave your damn phone on when I call you and try answering it, it could be important."

He slammed the back door in my face and I stopped immediately to stare at it, frozen in shock.

Shit. How could I be so stupid? Stupid, stupid, stupid…

I stood there for about ten seconds before I realized that cursing my stupidity wasn't going to help the situation at hand. Letting out a miserable sigh, I headed towards the kitchen.

"All right, Ezzy, let's see what's the matter with you. And hey, while we're at it, why don't we figure out what the hell is the matter with me?"

So much for my bright fucking mood.

* * *

><p><strong>Thank you everyone who has read, reviewed, and put this story on their favoritesalerts! It really means a lot. :)**


	9. Chapter 8: Bella POV

_(~Sustainability~)_

**Chapter Eight**

* * *

><p>I paced back and forth in the kitchen, cell phone clenched firmly in my right hand. For about the millionth time in the past thirty minutes I glanced at the clock.<p>

10:34 pm. Where the hell _was _he? He was supposed to have returned around three hours ago. Eight o'clock at the latest, he had told me. But that had been before I had screwed everything up and made him late for work; which, I realized, had been entirely my fault.

I had no excuse except for the single fact that I had lost track of the time, thanks to Jake and his uncanny ability to make me feel like a kid again.

A kid who, quite obviously, had zero responsibilities.

I groaned softly and mentally thumped Jake upside the head. I didn't regret going to see him; after all, the visit had heightened my mood, at least temporarily. But I had to keep in mind just who the most important person in my life was right now.

Ezzy.

I had to make her my first priority. No more losing track of time and forgetting schedules. That was a one-time only mistake of stupidity. I had to make this work…no, I_ would _make this work.

Feeling my heart pound with sudden determination, I lifted the phone and dialed Rose's number.

She answered on the fifth ring, offering an unintelligible response.

"Mmmurrgnnhh."

"Oh god, you're not having sex, are you?" I questioned tentatively, sounding as mortified as I felt.

"Bella?" Rose's sleepy voice perked up a bit. "What's up? And no, I'm not having sex." Her laugh flowed through the other line like a perfect melody, hitting all the right notes, "Trust me, you'd knew if I were, I'd be-"

"_Not _telling your best friend about it," I quickly said, grimacing. "Honestly Rose, I'd rather not hear about what you do during sex."

Rose laughed her perfect melody once more and replied, "Got it. So why are you calling me so late?"

"I need to ask you a favor," I began, "I hope you won't mind."

"In other words, I probably will."

I shook my head once and asked, "Could you watch Ezzy for a little bit? I promise it won't be for long, I just need to…to take care of something in town."

"What kind of something?"

I narrowed my eyes then sighed and decided to tell her the truth. What the hell. "It's Edward. He's not home yet and he was supposed to be back three and a half hours ago."

"Did you try his cell?"

"Yes, several times," I said, biting my lip.

"Maybe he's just having a drink with some of his buddies. Don't be so worried," Rose said reassuringly.

"I'm not worried," I huffed, speaking a bit louder than I had meant. I closed my eyes and leaned against the counter, adding softly this time, "Edward and I…we're not on the greatest of terms right now. I'd really like to make things right with us and I can't do that sitting around."

"It's called patience, Bella," Rose replied, sounding amused.

"To hell with patience. Will you please babysit Ezzy for a bit? You won't have to do much, just check on her every now and then. She's already asleep."

I smiled in relief when Rose gave me the answer I had been hoping for.

"I'll be over in ten."

* * *

><p>After Rose arrived to watch over Ezzy, I hopped into my car and headed into town. Fatigue caused my eyelids to droop and with a quick shake of my head I turned on the radio.<p>

_Ho! Hey! Ho! Hey! I belong with you, you belong with me…_

"My sweeeeetheeeaaart," I sang along, horribly off-key and louder than usual in an attempt to wake myself up a little. I mentally cursed Edward for making me go out so late. I absolutely hated driving in the dark and always had ever since I was a teenager.

I doubted this anxiety would ever go away, especially now after what had happened to Alice and Jasper. Grimacing, I tightened my grip on the wheel. I had to think of something else.

If Edward wasn't where I thought he'd be then I was most definitely screwed. I may not know much about Edward (except, of course, that he was an insufferable dickhead), but I did happen to know his favorite drinking spot. It was the same bar Alice and I used to go to every now and then over the weekends…I bit down on my lip as a wave of grief crashed over me, momentarily halting my train of thought.

Damn him. Damn Edward for…for…for what? I clenched my hands so tightly around the steering wheel my knuckles began to turn white. I didn't even know why I was so angry. But the anger was surely present, traveling through my body swifter than a hungry cheetah chasing its prey.

Once I arrived in town I parked in the lot on the corner of 7th and Peachtree Street. I sat in the car for a moment, contemplating on what I was going to do once I was actually in there. I had to devise some sort of plan to get Edward home just in case he chose not to come willingly. It would be a miracle if he was even inside The Vortex at all.

No, I had to think positive. Running a hand through my hair, I blew out a sigh before finally getting out of the car. Zipping up my jacket, I quickly crossed the street and walked up to the bouncer standing by the entrance to the bar. After showing him my ID I slipped inside and pushed my way through the throng of people, towards the bar.

I caught sight of him almost immediately. It was kind of hard not to, what with all the obnoxiously loud cheering and shouting going on. He was surrounded by a group of his friends, chugging down a shot as they pounded their fists against the counter. I raised an eyebrow and glanced over at the bartender who stood nearby looking pissed and more than ready to intervene.

I waved to get his attention. Once it was captured I pointed to the source of the commotion and hollered above the noise, "How long have they been at it?"

"Long enough," he nearly growled, "Do you know him?" He jerked his head in Edward's direction.

"Unfortunately, yes," I replied, smiling an apology. "Don't worry; I'll get him out of your hair."

"About damn time," he grumbled before slapping a bar towel over his shoulder and ambling over to the other end of the bar.

I politely tapped one of Edward's friends on the shoulder and flashed him a pleasant smile as he turned around. "Hi, I need to get through."

"Suuure thing, babe," he slurred, giving me a wink as he moved to the side. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes and stepped forward, taking the empty seat beside Edward.

"Edward, it's time to go home," I said, placing my hand gently on his arm, "Come on."

He glanced over at me lazily, his bloodshot eyes boring into mine as he slurred, "I'm not going…anywhere…"

"Edward, you're drunk," I said in a firm, matter-of-fact tone, "Let's go home." I tugged lightly on his arm and pleaded him with my eyes.

He snatched his arm away and shot me a malevolent glare. "Fuck off," he mumbled.

Apparently this wasn't going to be easy. Narrowing my eyes, I stood up and planted a hand on my hip. "Edward, they're going to kick you out if you stay any longer." I gestured towards the bartender and added seriously, "They've had enough."

He continued to glare at me. "Yeah? And what about…you?"

I blinked in confusion and tilted my head slightly. "What about me, Edward?" I asked patiently.

"Have you…had enough?" Edward questioned unintelligibly, clenching his hand tighter around his empty shot glass.

I stared at him, wondering what the hell had possessed him to ask such a question. It was like he was trying to push me away, which was ridiculous because he had nowhere to push me. I've already been pushed to the limit as far as stress was concerned and if I wasn't careful I'd be falling off the edge in no time.

"Edward, I can't…I can't talk to you when you're like this," I said, biting my lip. "Come on, I'm tired. Let's just go home and we can discuss it in the morning. Okay?"

"I'd rather…not," he slurred, and with a devilish smirk swiveled his seat around to face his friends. My scorching gaze burned a hole in his back and I clenched my hands into fists.

I could feel the edge getting close…dangerously close. But I wasn't about to let myself fall. Oh no, not this time.

Drunk Bucket Boy was going down.

Gripping the edge of his seat I spun him back around. Before he could so as open his mouth to protest I grabbed a fistful of his white t-shirt and yanked him off the seat. He stumbled forward, arms flailing in all directions. Sensing that he was probably too drunk to walk, I wrapped one of my arms around him for support and started pulling him towards the door.

He leaned into me and I gasped, realizing too late that his weight was a little more than I could handle. I staggered to the side and crashed heavily into the wall. Edward's body fell flat against mine and we immediately knocked heads, pain shooting through me hard and fast.

"Fuck!" I exclaimed, shoving him off me. He let out a groan and slid down the wall onto the ground.

"We seriously need to stop this…this head butting thing," I muttered, rubbing my aching head with a frown. This situation was becoming utterly ridiculous.

"Hey, need some help getting him to your car?"

I lifted my head and glanced over to see the bartender staring at me with a raised eyebrow. I gazed at him for a moment, taking in his short sandy blond hair, average height and stunningly clear blue eyes. Whoa, how had I not noticed those eyes before?

"Um…yeah, yeah sure," I replied, nodding my head, "that'd be great."

"Looked like you needed a little assistance," he said jokingly, stepping forward to take Edward's arm and throw it over his shoulder.

"He doesn't usually get this drunk," I replied, shooting him a look. What was his name again? It bothered me that I couldn't remember. Pursing my lips, I lifted Edward's other arm over my shoulder and we made our way out of the bar.

"So why now?" the blond bartender asked as we looked both ways before crossing the street.

"It's…complicated," I said, grimacing at how elusive that had sounded. I attempted to explain. "We're going through a lot right now and well…it's been really tough."

"Are you two…together?" he asked and glanced towards me.

"No!" Edward and I exclaimed simultaneously.

I then heard Edward let out an obnoxious snort and I rolled my eyes at him in response.

The blond, blue-eyed bartender chuckled at us and I sighed as we finally approached the car. I took the keys out of my pocket and unlocked it before opening the passenger door.

"All right, in you go, bucket boy." I lowered his arm off my shoulder and pushed him gently into the car. Once he was inside I slammed the door shut and turned around to face –

"Mike," he introduced, reaching his hand out and flashing me a charming smile with dimples dancing on each cheek. Oh, he was charming, all right.

I smiled back and gazed into his clear baby blue eyes. "Bella," I replied, shaking his hand, "it's nice to meet you. And thanks."

"No problem, I'm glad I could help." He grinned and lifted his hand in farewell. "I'll see you around, Bella."

I watched him walk away for a moment before I realized that I was holding something in my hand. It felt like paper.

Confused, I glanced down and opened my hand. I was right; it was a piece of paper…with ten digits scribbled in black ink.

"You've got to be kidding me," I said, staring down at the paper in downright astonishment. Shaking my head, I turned around and headed towards the driver's side, slipping the number in the back pocket of my jeans. I doubted I would ever use it, but hey, you never know.

I climbed into my car and slammed the door shut. "Let's get outta here before the night gets any crazier," I said mainly to myself and started the engine. Just as I was about to pull out of the parking spot I glanced over at Edward and smiled slightly at the sight of him. His arms were crossed against his chest with his cheek smashed against the window, no doubt snoring like a baby. He looked irrevocably handsome, as always, but that wasn't what got me. For the first time in a long time he looked…peaceful.

And I suddenly found it hard to look away.

* * *

><p>"You're back! Finally, what took – oh my god."<p>

Rose stared at Edward in disgust before flicking me a glance. "He is _so _wasted."

"Oh, thanks. I never would have guessed," I stated with a roll of my eyes, stepping into the house. "Come on and help me get him to the couch."

We helped Edward stumble his way down the hallway and into the living room. Once we made it to the couch Rose and I dropped him onto the soft cushions and he immediately plopped his head on top of Alice's white fifty dollar throw pillows.

"Well then," Rose said, brushing her hands together, "My work here is done. Later, Bella babe." She grabbed her purse from the end table beside the couch and started towards the door. "Oh, Ezzy is fine, by the way. She slept like a rock." Opening the front door, she stepped out and called behind her shoulder, "Have fun!" before shutting the door pleasantly behind her.

I heaved a massive sigh and glanced down at Edward. "I'm not doing this again," I warned him, although I doubted he was even listening. "I might have pissed you off but let me tell you something Edward; you won the stupidity contest today. I was in first place for a while but you really brought it home after forcing me to haul your drunken ass out. I congratulate you."

I continued to talk, knowing he was probably fast asleep but hardly caring at this point; I needed to get this off my chest, pronto.

"I'm sorry for not picking up my phone and forgetting the schedule. That's not going to happen again. It shouldn't have even happened in the first place. And I'm…I'm sorry for calling you an insufferable, mangy dick on our blind date, despite the fact that you kind of deserved it."

Biting down on my lip I paused for a moment, collecting my thoughts, before adding in a soft, slow whisper, "Maybe…maybe you're not. An insufferable dick, I mean. Maybe you're actually a good guy. But the thing is, Edward…" I gazed down at his face and thought I saw one of his eyelashes flutter as I murmured lastly, "…I haven't seen that side of you yet." I turned away and stepped forward, heading for the stairs.

I stopped abruptly when I felt Edward's hand suddenly grasp my wrist. Startled, I turned back around slowly and glanced down at him with parted lips.

With his eyes still closed he mumbled something, something I couldn't hear. Stepping closer, I leaned down and asked, "What was that?"

"I'm…sorry."

My eyes grew wide in surprise. "For what?" I whispered.

There was a moment of silence, and then…

"For…everything," he murmured, before letting go of my wrist and rolling over to his side.

I felt my heart flutter wildly, and like hell did I know why.

* * *

><p><strong>Hope you enjoyed this one. And I hope you can forgive me for taking so long to update. Writer's block is a bitch, as is college. I think I'm beginning to conquer both though, haha. Feel free to leave me a review with your thoughts. :)<strong>

**Till next time...**

**~LWS**


	10. Chapter 9: Edward POV

_(~Sustainability~)_

**Chapter Nine**

* * *

><p>I woke up to something cold and wet poking at my ear. Letting out a groan I rolled over and dug my head deeper into the pillow.<p>

Five seconds later the infuriating poke came again, this time at my neck. Cursing softly I grabbed the pillow beside me and turned to whack away whatever dared disturb my sleep.

I grunted in surprise when the pillow was seized and yanked out of my hand.

"What the-"

Buddy leapt onto the bed with a gleeful bark and stuck his two front paws on my chest, flattening me against the bed with his hefty weight. I turned my head to the side as his tongue swiped my cheekbone, grimacing at the unpleasant feeling of the saliva sticking to my skin.

I shoved my hands against his chest and considered punching the overly exuberant dog in the nose. But after remembering the way he had attacked me in the kitchen several days ago I decided against it. After all, the dog was a beast.

"Buddy! There you are. Sorry, Edward."

Bella bustled into the room wearing a sports bra and gray sweatpants. I blinked, staring at her bare stomach as she sauntered over towards the bed, lips pressed together in a firm line.

"Buddy, _nein_! Bad dog. _Platz_, right now!" She pointed her finger sternly at the ground and glared at him.

Obeying, he climbed off my chest and jumped off the bed, ears pinned back against his head.

"Weird," Bella said, gazing down at Buddy with a quizzical expression on her face, "I think he likes you. He usually only does that to me in the morning."

Fantastic news.

I snorted and flung the sheets back over my head, ignoring the dreadful throbbing that refused to ebb. I was desperately craving three more hours of sleep. Perhaps four depending on how long my hangover planned on "hanging" around.

"Edward…"

I groaned in response to Bella's beckoning call.

"Edward, I really want to talk."

Of course she wanted to talk, she was a woman. Most women liked to talk, rant, rave and confide in others about their issues. In all my past experiences I've learned that talking was one of the things women did best. And by Bella's insistent tone I had a gut sinking feeling that she was good and ready for some talking.

I on the other hand was not.

"Bella, now is not the time," I grumbled underneath the sheets, hoping she'd be merciful and let me go back to sleep.

"I beg to differ. Now is the _perfect _time."

A split second later she flung back the covers and plopped down on the end of my bed, crossing her legs Indian-style before flashing me a firm smile that said, '_We're talking whether you like it or not.'_

Not holding back my scowl, I grabbed my own pillow this time and chucked it in her direction.

She caught it, snuggled it in her arms and continued to smile that damn smile at me. "Oh, thank you. I feel so much more comfortable now."

"Bella, I'm serious. I feel like shit," I growled, narrowing my eyes at her. I felt a slight tinge of disappointment when I noticed the pillow was now obstructing my view of her stomach. Damn.

"Good, you should," she snapped back, "Time to get over it and talk to me."

Fuck it. The woman was stubborn. I surrendered with a sigh and pushed myself up so that my back now rested against the headboard.

"Fine, woman. What is it you need to say to me that apparently can't wait for a few more hours?"

"Okay, first of all do not call me 'woman' as if I'm the one in trouble here. I'm not. You are. And secondly, I don't _need _to say anything; it's _you _who need to fess up."

I quirked an eyebrow at her and said jokingly, "So now I am a troubled woman who should own up. Wow. What happened last night?"

For a brief moment she looked like she was about to pounce and I braced myself, preparing for some sort of attack. But slowly yet surely she regained her composure, releasing my flat pillow from her cruel embrace. I continued to stare at her calmly.

"Do you…do you remember _anything _that happened last night?" she questioned in not quite a whisper. She was gazing at me with some kind of hope that I couldn't yet comprehend. It unnerved me, shadowing me with a strong sense of doubt.

I thought back to last night, struggling to fill all the holes and gaps that depreciated my mind. I couldn't recall much unfortunately, but I didn't want to disappoint her. I had to give her something, even though that something was probably worth shit.

"I remember getting off work and asking a few of my buddies if they wanted to go grab a drink. So we did." I shrugged. "We had a couple shots, and then…"

"You had a couple more after that," Bella said discerningly and sighed in aggravation. "Yeah, I get the picture. That's all you can remember?"

"Basically," I replied, feeling just as aggravated as she was, if not more. I wanted to answer the question I saw lingering so heavily in her eyes, but how was I to know if I even had the answer?

And say if I did…what if the answer I gave only disappointed her all the more?

Disappointment didn't sit well with me. Now, anger I could take. Hell, I once had three teenage girls tackle me to the ground on Valentine's Day after they discovered I had accepted not one, not two, but all three offers to be their Valentine. But of course back then I had been a stud with a mission, whereas now…well, now I was a stud with a baby.

Suddenly I felt the crazy urge to laugh. But then Bella gave me that look – that cute look she gave me sometimes when she was annoyed and wanted me to know it. I watched as she tilted her head down, narrowed her eyes and pursed her lips at me, obviously pondering her next response.

"So why did you do it? Were you…mad?"

"Was I mad?" I blinked at her thoughtfully. "You mean…at you?"

"No. Well…yeah," she answered, glancing down at her lap.

I considered that for a moment. When I left the house I had been pissed as hell, but after brooding over it during the fifteen minute drive to work I realized how irrationally angry I had been about the whole situation. Unfortunately patience wasn't one of my strong suits.

And neither was admitting that I had made a mistake.

"Look…Bella…" I ran a hand through a mass of wavy unkempt hair and blew out an unsteady breath. "I apologize for yelling at you. I shouldn't have done it. You're going through enough as it is and-"

"Apology accepted," Bella said and then continued to stare at me expectantly.

"Uh…did I miss something?"

And there it went - the flicker of disappointment in her eyes that caused me to inwardly grimace. It drove me absolutely crazy. I grinded my teeth together - hard, and attempted to keep my tone cool as I added, "Throw me a bone here, Bella. Obviously there's something else you want me to apologize for. And obviously I have no clue."

"You want me to help you out? All right, fine. I'll give you a hint." Bella threw my pillow off to the side and leaned forward, scrambling towards me with a sharp look on her face that instantly had me shaking in my boots. Er, well – socks.

"Bella, what-"

She reached over me and grabbed my cell phone from the nightstand. I stared at her incredulously as she held my phone against her ear and began speaking in a deep manly voice I could only assume was "mine."

"Hello? Oh, hey…_babe. _What's going on?" Pause. "I miss you too…" She let out a loud deep-throated chuckle and I felt the corner of my lips twitch in amusement. "Now? Oh, can't babe, I'm a bit…ah…preoccupied. Later tonight? Sure. I'll text you when I'm on my way."

And then right when I thought she had finished demonstrating her absurd skit of Edward-is-an-arrogant-ass she ran a hand through her sleek brown tresses and purred suggestively, "Can't wait to fuck you too, babe."

"Whoa, whoa, _whoa_." I threw my hands up and shot Bella a combative stare, exclaiming to her, "I did _not _say that."

"Yeah? Well you might as well have, Edward."

Bella chucked my phone over her shoulder and instead of it landing on the bed behind her like I would have preferred it bounced merrily off the edge. I watched as it soared smoothly in the air before crashing soundly against my dresser and landing, finally, on the floor with a solid _thump._

After a brief moment of silence I flashed a wide, cheeky smile. "Thanks."

"Edward, _honestly!_" Bella exclaimed in a frustrated tone, "Can't you be serious for just _one _second?"

"Okay." I inhaled a deep breath, let it all out and said in all seriousness, "That phone cost me around two hundred bucks. I would appreciate it if you didn't-"

"Screw it."

I stopped abruptly as she scrambled off the bed in a fit of anger and marched towards the door. It kind of reminded me of a penguin. But instead of calling her angry parade, "March of the Penguins" I would entitle it "March of the Bella-Tantrum."

Wait, what the fuck was I thinking about penguins for?

Swearing, I hopped off the bed and chased after Bella, managing to grab her wrist before she made it to her room.

She whirled around and glared daggers at me, freezing me right where I stood. "Let go of me, Edward. Right now."

"All right, but first hear me out. I…I suck at apologizing. I've never really gotten the hang of it. When I was growing up, instead of apologizing I tended to make jokes to try and lighten the mood." I shrugged and cracked an embarrassing smile, "What can I say? It became habit."

Bella crossed her arms across her chest and lifted her chin. "You wanna know what I've got to say?"

I eyed her warily. "Sure…"

She fired at me point-blank. "That's a real lousy fucked-up habit."

I blew out a sigh and nodded. "Yeah, I know."

Bella shook her head. "Apparently you don't or else you'd have already tried to break it. But don't worry – right now you're going to start." She smiled pleasantly up at me.

I stared at her, clearly baffled by her and this incredibly awkward situation. "What?"

"Say you're sorry, Edward."

"This is ridiculous," I muttered. I honestly felt like a kid at that moment. A _kid. _Hah!

"_Your_ _habit _is ridiculous, Edward. Now if you truly want to apologize then just look me in the eyes and say it. It's not that hard." She gazed up at me expectantly and waited, tapping her foot on the ground.

"Are you seriously doing that?"

"Doing what?"

"Tapping your foot."

"Is it bothering you?"

"No, the person doing it is bothering me."

"Then apologize!"

"I can't concentrate when you're tapping away like a fucking woodpecker!"

"Damn it, Edward! It's just two words!"

"Calm down, woman!" I clenched my fists and stared down at her belly button, knowing that if I glanced up and into her eyes I'd be in trouble – _major _trouble.

"Not until you say it!" she exclaimed hotly.

"Bella-"

"Say it!"

I grinded my teeth and finally risked a glance into her eyes.

"Say-"

In one swift motion I had her in my arms, flattening her against the door with the hard length of my body. I felt her gasp softly as I captured her lips with my own, forcing her to surrender with an urgent flick of the tongue. She parted her lips and our tongues began to dance, eliciting that stormy fire within me that demanded more. Only more.

I pressed the palm of my hand against her stomach, entrapping the pleasant warmth of her skin. A second later she looped her arms around my neck and ensnared me in her embrace. My mouth paraded hers and in return her lips molded against mine, causing my heart to pound erratically inside my chest. My other hand had somehow entangled itself in the mess that was her hair but a part of me had ceased to care because it felt nice to be caught...at least for a little while.

When the kiss finally ended I drew back and stared directly into her wide, dazed-like-hell eyes; that one hand still trapped in her hair. And then I stunned us both by saying the words Bella had so much been longing to hear…

"I'm sorry."

Did I mean it? You can sure as hell bet I did.

* * *

><p><strong>Nein (<em>Nine<em>) - No!**

**Platz (_Plots_) - Down!**

**Thanks for reading guys! To those who have stuck with me since the beginning and all my new readers out there, you make my heart happy. To those who review kindly, you make my heart dance! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I worked hard so that I could give it to you in advance. :) Unfortunately I've come to realize that I'm very bad at scheduled updates so for now I'll just say I plan to update again in a week or so.**

**So...till then, lovely readers!**

**~LWS **


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